


After the Mission

by rightafterscribe



Series: After [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Other, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:40:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25197082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rightafterscribe/pseuds/rightafterscribe
Summary: More from After... originally on ff.net
Relationships: Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson
Series: After [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813957
Kudos: 16





	1. After the return

**Author's Note:**

> I still don't own them.  
> I've been trying to figure out the best way to continue this series. Everything since 2.15 has been killing me. This will turn out slightly AU, but still cannon compliant... I think.  
> Super short first chapter. More to come, more to come.

She's here on the bus.  
She's alive, and safe (as safe as she could be I guess) and here.

I didn't realize how scared I was for her until the moment she was in front of me.

It takes everything in me not to fly up the stairs and pull her into my arms. But practicality and my need to protect her and the rest of my family wins out. 

For now all I can do is offer a small nod in greeting before I lead Ward upstairs. The back way, no one needs to deal with him.

When we all get upstairs she's comfortably chatting with Fitzsimmons. I'm glad, there was tension there so recently. We could all use some normality.

She turns to the table when Ward begins to catch us up on the intel. I know they'll be time to catch up with my girl later. I look forward to even just a few minutes before the mission. I look forward to her joining me in the cockpit like she always does.

She doesn't this time.


	2. After the mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This picks after 2.19... It's an added scene for 2.20 because I'm convinced Skye is more upset by something else, and that's why she chose to throw Bahrain in May's face.

I have no idea what went down on the base. Skye didn't join me in the cockpit on the way back either, she stayed huddled next to Lincoln, speaking to no one the entire flight back.

She hasn't left Lincoln's side since he was stabilized. I know she blames herself, even if she shouldn't. She was with him when dinner was served. She was with him when the team was supposed to be debriefed. She was with him when I stopped by on my way off base and to the ship. She was there when we got back from the ship. I haven't had a chance to talk to her yet, not that she is really talking to anyone.

I think it's a pleasant surprise when I find her in the gym at 5:15. I've missed training with her, we had settled into a nice routine before. Before everything. Exhaustion is written in her features and I wonder if she's slept at all. She's beating the hell out of the bag and I notice her hands aren't wrapped. 

So this is more of an impromptu session for her.

"You're going to damage your hands that way," I tell her quietly, hoping to not startle her. I know how dangerous coming up on someone lost in the bag can be.

"Surprised you care." She grinds out.

"Of course I care. I also know there are better ways to get out whatever you're feeling right now."

"What like Tai Chi? Sorry, I'm not exactly feeling the need for Zen calm. I'd rather spar."

"I don't think that's a good idea, you're obviously not in control of your emotions right now." She's cold and angry. So unlike the girl I know and love. I know I've said to embrace what she's feeling and use it, but these emotions could cause serious harm to both of us.

"Come on, you must've thought about it. What would happen if you had to go up against me in a fight! What would happen if you had to go up against another 'gifted'? Would you be able to take me?" She sneers at me.

My blood runs cold. She can't possibly... There is NO way she could have any idea what happened in Bahrain. 

I shake my head to clear my thoughts, in my startled fraction of a moment she makes her move. I guess I've taught her well. She throws a punch.

I dodge and grab her arm as it comes at me wildly. She'a upset and has no control over her movements, so it's easy to catch the fist before it connects. I twist her arm behind her, not enough to injure but enough to stop her.

"Skye where is this coming from?"

"You told me you didn't want me to hold back, so..."

She sends a vibration through me. I stumble and let go of her arm, shocked it's come to this.

Superhero or not, I've got a lot of experience on her and I recover quickly. Ready to take whatever she tries next. I don't want to fight her, but I might need to defend myself. I'm afraid that that thought has run through my head.

"Stand down!" I yell.

"No!" She screams back, coming at me again, a wild look in her eyes that terrifies me. The room is starting to shake as well.

"Skye, please..." I see a tiny crack in her resolve and she stops a few inches from me, breathing hard, she's like a caged animal, trying to decide what her next move is.

I can't handle this, I refuse to hurt this girl. I can feel panic rising within me. I cannot do this again, not with her, not with this girl.

"Please..." I try again. What could possibly be running through her head right now?

"Please, please just tell me what I can do, what I did, and let me try and make it right." Please, I cannot hurt her. I cannot. I will not survive it.

"You sent me away!" She finally screams, and the tears fill her eyes.

And... I realize that's exactly what I did. Coulson may have dropped her at the cabin, but it was after I told him too. I know she knows it was me who made that call.  
"You promised you wouldn't and then you did." She whispers, all the fight has gone out of her.

"And now, now you're working for the man who tried to kill me. What exactly am I supposed to think? I am not supposed to defend myself?" She asks quietly.

"Skye..." 

I'm just about to explain everything when Coulson walks in, I know we have to figure out what the hell is the cargo hold of Gonzales' ship, but now is so not that time.

"Coulson," I try to start but he cuts me off.

"I need to see you both, now."

Another fun conversation awaits.


	3. After the bombshell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not mine.

As it turns out she can in fact know about Bahrain.

The revelation is surprising as it is devastating. I never told anyone other Andrew what happened, never breathed a word to Phil, I never even filled out the full report. 

I know that Andrew never told anyone.

Imagine my surprise when Skye told me my horrifying past was witnessed by this Jaying woman.

I know I deserve Skye's disgust, but to say I'm not hurt and shocked by the way she causally tossed it in my face would be a lie. 

I know Coulson told her the little he knew about it, I know she knows it broke me, but I can't even hold her anger against her.

She's too defensive and I'm too shocked right now to even begin to explain that Bahrain is the reason I sent her to the cabin. 

That yes, I 'have thought about it' and agonized about what would happen if God forbid she became dangerous or a threat.

Yes, I have had nightmares about having to take her down. 

Yes, I'm terrified that if I can take the life of a child, that I can take the life of girl I love like she was my own. 

I wish I could explain that I sent her away to protect her from me, and not to protect us from her.

She'll never look at me the same way again. It doesn't mean I'll ever stop caring and that I won't worry that she's safe.

I know sending her to the cabin hurt, but I had to keep her safe from what I was doing to her. I almost killed her. 

I can't ever live through killing another girl, I can't handle being the reason this girl dies.

I hear Coulson behind me, I'm not ready to talk to him yet. 

I should have stopped him when I had the chance, Skye is living proof I let him get out of control, and now she's paying for my mistakes. 

Things will never go back to the way they were.

Coulson comes up to my side and I know I can't let the silence linger for too long. I know that he'll want to talk about Bahrain but I'm just not ready to say anything yet. 

Instead I say the first thing that comes to mind, "I miss my plane."


End file.
